More old news

For those that missed the Metro and The Sun today. (Impossible I know)

The Super Groom 2007 contest.

Next week, Helena discovers an invention called the wheel and keeps you all up to date.

Today I think have an excuse.

Not only have I got a horrible cold, but I went to British Military Fitness yesterday.

I reckon I was reasonably fit until last November, but this year I have been alternating fags and wine on the sofa and walking between my wheelie chair and my lunch in the office.

It doesn't sound good but, y'know, I trekked to Everest base camp last year. I figured it wouldn't be to hard to get back in shape.

I was wrong.

I spent an hour yesterday covered in mud, dribbling, panting and falling over in Hyde Park. For the first fifteen minutes I thought I was going to pass out and then I lost the use of my legs.

Today I can no longer walk up or down stairs .

I am not sure that this is an improvement on my general well being. Ow.

Off sick and nursing my cold

I imagine that, as usual, I am behind and everyone else saw this on metafilter already.
I know it's not big and it's definitely not clever but I am LMAO at Lolcat Bible.

& Ceiling Cat sayz, i can has light? and & light wuz.

of cake and cats

Ooops. I have been so slack about blogging I had forgotten my password. I even made Chris do the post on Sophie and Martin's rather fabulous wedding because I couldn't be arsed. It was great though. I got to sit in hot tub in a field in Wales and watch the sun come up while being very silly with my truly magnificent friends all weekend.

Some interesting things have happened here, I suppose, if you can call them that. At work I am suddenly in charge of sales in Peru, Colombia, Mexico, Belgium, Slovenia and Croatia as well as the UK. Which has been, um, keeping me busy. And frankly quite scared too.
I have been to about twelvety cities in the last two weeks doing fresher's fairs and just got back from Turkey on Thursday where I got about four hours sleep and had some very scary meetings with middle-aged women of the Colombian mafia.
I also picked up a lovely cold which has wiped me out and made me hack like a chimney sweep with TB.

Next week I am off to Norwich to visit my nephews in their new home which is MUCH too far away from me. I suppose I can see the benefits of the beach over the Holloway road but I still think it was damn selfish of them. Who am I going to play monkey high jump with now?
Then after Norwich it is Madrid and Cork for more meetings which I hope will increase my general level of exhausted, moaning grump. Bah!

Still, less of the grumbling. there are some cool things happening too. I now have two godchildren, Cosmo and Maes, to add to my brood of adored, vicarious babies. Apparently I don't have to have anything to do with God, I just have to turn up, drink champagne and remember their birthdays. I think I can manage that. Oh and probably let the come to my house to smoke spliffs when the are teenagers. A very important role.

On the home front, Jah cat had a funny turn last month and actually sat on my lap for the first time in ten years (this might seem dull and unremarkable but if you know Jah, you'll be astounded too). I personally think she was just driven temporarily insane by the view of my crumpled, morning face.
This is a sight never seen before and unlikely ever to be seen again so it's a good thing we have recorded it for posterity. Now we can embarrass her in front of her cool, neighbourhood cat friends when she gets too big for her boots.



Otherwise nothing important has happened. Chris turned 31 on Friday but we're not drawing attention to that. We saw Bill Hicks Slight Return; very good and also confusing in equal measure if, like me, you are a die hard fan of the late BH.
And then today, as a demonstration of how much I am not making a fuss of his birthday, I actually got my hands on the pornographically good cake which I have been drooling over for two months.



I had to use some extreme, passive-aggressive, guilt-persuasion about the fact that they couldn't do my 30th and then I had to go to Sloane Square at stupid o'clock in the morning.
But I achieved it. I finally got my grubby, drooling mitts on the cupcakes of the century.



Check out those bad boys. They taste even better than they look too.



I have been left at home with half a box of this incredible cake and a bottle of wine, nursing my cold while Chris plays crap poker in North London. can certainly think of worse things in the world, Colombian mafia or no.